Quite Possibly a Very Boring Post

You totally decided to read this because you want to see if it's actually boring, didn't you? HAHAAAA NAILED IT!

Seriously though.

So guys. April is National Poetry Month. WAIT DON'T GO! I feel it is my duty as an English major to mention this to you, even though...well...don't judge me, okay? I kind of hate poetry.

Okay, "hate" is a strong word. And if you include all forms of poetry under that umbrella of "hate," then it's totally not true. We'll just say poetry isn't really my thing in the stereotypical sense of the word. For instance, I am absolutely not the kind of person to sit down and read a bunch of poems. They all start to run together, and then even the good ones get hidden. And those old ones that are all about nature...to me, it's like, "Okay, dude. One nature poem was good; now you just sound high." Wordsworth?! *sigh* I really like the poem about the daffodils. But I just finished a British literature course and I swear we spent half the semester reading (A) Wordsworth, or (B) another poet writing about Wordsworth. I am not making this up. We did eventually cover some good stuff; but we could have spent a few of those weeks talking about Oscar Wilde or Agatha Christie, Charles Dickens or George Orwell or...well, anyone but Wordsworth, really.

And it is noteworthy that music is poetry. And good lyrics are hard to beat. Okay, some are better than others; and I've about had it up to here (gestures to eye-level) with pop music these days, filled with whiners groaning baby, baby, baby or WEEEE...are NEver EVer EVer...geting BAAAACK toGETHERRRR... Oh, and can I get a shout-out for Pit Bull, who taught us that "Kodak" rhymes with "Kodak"? Seriously. Even in music, there is good poetry and bad poetry; it's just that music has the saving grace of a melody (unless the melody also sucks).

BUT...poetry does have its place. Most of it, I will admit, is in music. But I will not say that poetry is pointless; some people lap it up like water. I am blatantly not one of those people; but every so often I hear a verse and think yes! Get it! And this leads me to today's list...

10 Poems Actually Worth Reading (according to someone who generally dislikes poetry)

1. "Agua Noche" (English version "Water Night") by Octavio Paz. This one is even about nature! Although I cheated a little on this one; the first time I ever heard the words of this poem was in a musical composition by Eric Whitacre. He used the English translation of this poem for his choral piece "Water Night." The words are truly beautiful; and it's a short poem, swallowable in one gulp. I would also suggest you all go listen to the Eric Whitacre composition. BUT...read the poem first.
2. "Masks" by Shel Silverstein. Who didn't love Shel Silverstein poems as a child??? I had (still have) two of his books and I loved them. He writes the silliest rhymes; but they're things not just anyone would think of. Then every so often, he throws in a poem like "Masks" that actually has a serious moral to it. I love this poem, and it's so short that I actually have it memorized. And, just because Shel Silverstein poems are made much better by the original Shel Silverstein illustrations, here you go: 
   
3. "The Voice," also by Shel Silverstein. This one is especially good for those of us who have no idea what we're going to do with our lives. It might be a little bit cheesy, but it's also a little bit awesome.
4. "El Dorado" by Edgar Allan Poe. It's spooky, like many of his works, but not overly so. (That TOTALLY rhymes!!!) This one's also pretty short; so if you were picturing something as menacing as "The Raven," you can breathe more easily. A suggestion--and this might sound a teensy bit lame, but I'm throwing it out anyway--I really like to read Poe's poetry aloud. The dude had a way with words--meaning even if you can't actually understand what he's trying to say (because that happens sometimes...or maybe a lot), the vocabulary sounds absolutely beautiful when spoken. If you're really bored, give it a try.
5. "A Person/A Paper/A Promise" by Dr. Earl Reum. This poem was emphasized in the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's a little morbid, and does not have a happy ending. But sometimes...well, sometimes the most beautiful endings (in literature, at least) are not the happiest ones. I appreciate the structure of this poem and, well, if you read it I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
6. "In Flanders Fields" by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae. Okay, I cheated again. This has also been set to music--a few times, I think--and my choir sang this song in high school. You know, sometimes you need to hear something set to notice the beauty of the words. The author, a Canadian military physician, wrote this after the death of a friend and fellow soldier in World War I. It makes you think. I'm just saying. 
7. "Ode" by Arthur O'Shaughnessy. I know the title is not especially exciting; but this is where I emphasize that if you are only to read one poem from this entire list...okay, I'd probably suggest "Masks" because it's really short and it's right there. But after that, I'd tell you to read this one. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read, and it's also where we get the term "movers and shakers" (in case you were really curious where that phrase came from). I can't begin to do this poem justice in one tiny section of one tiny blog post, so you're just going to have to look it up. At the very least, read the first stanza. It's my favorite.
8. "We Real Cool" by Gwendolyn Brooks. This one is also short enough that, well, at one point in time I had it memorized. I don't think I have the order quite right anymore. But it's awesome; one of my all-time faves. It's sassy. It's terse. It makes you want to skip school and play pool. And, if you're not into poetry either, it'll take you about thirty seconds to read if you're a slow reader.
9. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost. Okay, one last cheat; but this one isn't really a cheat. Eric Whitacre, the composer mentioned in poem #1, based another of his compositions on this poem. He revised the poem to flow better in choral music and named it "Sleep." I love this poem, though. It's eerie, but not the bad kind of eerie. Like the title implies: It's that sense of wonder you find when you're walking through the secluded darkness in the wintertime, the snow crunch-crunching beneath your feet. And you're getting sleepy, but you can't sleep yet. I love it. Also, I think it's one of my mom's favorites.
10. "Harlem" by Langston Hughes. It's short. It's inspirational. It has some imagery you will never get out of your head. It's everything a poem ought to be. 

Phew! I'm not going to make you go down the list and read all these poems. But if you do read some of them or have anything to say about them, you should totally comment and tell me about it. Also, if you have other poems in mind that you think are worthwhile...do share.

And next time, I'll cut to the chase and do a music blog.

A Photo Blog--or Flog, if you will--Because Today I'm Lazy

Well, folks...we're wrapping up another Monday.

But hey! It hasn't been a bad Monday. Okay, it hasn't been a bad Monday for me at least. And I know we've still got about an hour and there's still time for it to go downhill...

Alright, well, at least I gave positivism a try. Maybe it's not for me.

Still, I can't help but be a little jollier than usual today. The sun is shining, the tank is clean...*gasp!*

THE TANK IS CLEAN.

Sorry. I don't know if you knew this about me, but I can throw an unnecessary movie/TV/meme quote into almost any conversation. It can occasionally be problematic. Like, if someone is about to tell me some great news and they say, "GUESS WHAT?!" and then I go, "You just saved a whole bunch of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico?!" Surprisingly, that's not what people are usually excited about. Kind of like what people really need usually isn't "MORE COWBELL!" And that's just unfortunate.

Also, I'm easily distracted and--

You get the idea. One of the girls I used to coach in softball called it A.D.O.S.--attention deficit OOH SHINY! Is that politically correct to say? I don't know, but it's awesome.

Anyway. I suppose something that sticks out about this Monday is that I won a writing award from the English department. It's kind of funny, because the "award" isn't actually that cool--it's a regular certificate, and it was placed in this plastic frame that seriously looks like it'll snap in half if I breathe on it wrong, and the clear plastic of the frame is so glare-ifying that when I got back to my seat I placed it facedown immediately and didn't even look at it till a few hours later. I have a theory that the certificates were framed for the audience's sake and not that of the recipients; because they do indeed look way more legit from a distance, but the close-up doesn't lie. The real award, for me anyway, is the fact that one of my stories gets published in Bethel's literary magazine. And I know that all of twenty people read the magazine, and that they are composed of eighteen English students, Dr. Staples, and my grandma; but there's just something cool about seeing a story you wrote in print, no matter the size of the publication. It's a really cool feeling, even if many of my loved ones don't read and the ones who do are required by friendship or blood to tell me they liked my story. If nothing else, I can always go back and look at this little magazine and know that my story was good enough for somebody.

Plus, it was an English department award. So maybe now people will stop asking me what inspired me to be a theatre major, and I can stop having to tell them I'm not a theatre major; I'm just way too dramatic by nature. You think I am making this up. I am not. This really happens.

Anyway. Monday has gone well. A little too well, if you ask me. But hey. I'm hopeful that there will be more good Mondays, and to God be the glory.

And here are Ten Things You Could Do To Make Mondays Better:
[Disclaimer: This list does not include things like praying and reading your Bible because really, those are things you can do to make any day better. So please, don't call me a heathen and slap me with a pancake. It's like when someone asks you what the best thing ever is and you say Nutella instead of Jesus. It's not that Jesus isn't the best. It's just that--here, anyway--that fact is already a given. Sooo...yeah.]

1. Set a good morning song as your alarm! Let's be honest, if you're one of those people who can't stand happy things, this will last about a week before you murder your alarm clock. But occasionally, it makes waking up a little less difficult. If indeed you enjoy being Grumpy Cat when you wake up, maybe you could set the Imperial March as your alarm. That could set a definite tone for the day.
2. Scream as loud as you possibly can before getting out of bed. And promise yourself that nothing else about the day will make you scream that loudly. This way, the only direction from there is up! (This advice courtesy of Kolee New.)
3. Hug somebody! It could be me. It could be your roommate. If you're Michelle Miller, it could be both of those things simultaneously. Or it could be a pet or something that can't actually hug you back but is still worth hugging. There are plenty of great options. 
    
4. Trust-fall somebody. Bonus points if it's someone you don't know and/or have never seen before. Just walk up, yell "TRUST FALL!" and fall on them. Extra bonus points if the person actually catches you. Super mega bonus points if it ends up being your future spouse!
5. Smile at someone you usually try to avoid. Even if it ends up looking something like...
   Hey. At least you tried.
6. Listen to a song you haven't heard in a while. Remember "Drops of Jupiter"? It remembers you.
7. Stare at a stranger. Then, when said stranger is sufficiently creeped out and asks what the heck you're doing, reply, "You can see me?" Comment with your results.
8. Start smiling when something makes you angry. If nothing else, it will confuse people to no end.
9. Eat some cereal before bed. It's a good midnight snack. Also, if it's after midnight, it legitimately counts as breakfast.
   Sorry. I like Family Guy more than I ought to.
10. Finish your homework. Provided Bethel's Internet is actually working well, that is.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    With that in mind, get excited for Tuesday! And hopefully this "wisdom" can serve you well in your future Monday endeavors. 
    
    
    
    
    

ACORN: the musical

Happy Tuesday, my diligent blog-readers! And may it be a thousand times better than your Monday, even if your Monday kicked some serious Monday butt.

I was reminded today by one of my fellow Acorn workers (are you happy now, Andrea?!) that I have not blogged anything in the two weeks since creating said blog. Believe me, I knew. I've been wanting to write for a while, but the last few weeks have been the teensiest bit ridiculously busy. Not a great excuse, but it's what I've got. Still, it was nice to know that someone wanted to read my blog. I suppose when I started it, I kind of expected it to get maybe ten views per post--and those would consist of my mom, my grandma, and me checking it eight times to see if anyone actually read it. But HUZZAH! This is not the case! Except for me checking the blog way too many times and realizing that many of the views were indeed me. That's kind of a lame feeling.

Anyway.

It seems like every time I go to work at the Acorn (for those of you who do not attend Bethel, this is our sandwich shop. Cue the jokes about a woman working at a sandwich shop; I make them all the time), it's just a matter of time before the conversation winds up at "ACORN: the musical." Oh, what is "ACORN: the musical," you might ask? Well, thank you for asking! Because the good Lord knows I don't get tired of talking about it. In fact, I think the fellow employees who aren't really excited about it probably want to shoot me in the face for talking about it so much. So if you're one of those people, you're more than welcome to stop reading now. If not...

Here's the thing. Working in food services isn't known to be the most glamorous job in the world. I used to think I was above it, actually, but life has a funny way of slapping you in the face with college poverty and forcing you to work jobs you never saw yourself working. That's how I ended up at the Acorn, and I'll be the first to admit I love working there. I get to work with some of the coolest, kookiest people on campus (most of whom also enjoy randomly bursting into song); the work is pretty straightforward (after all, making a sandwich is not supposed to be difficult); and my boss Lorena pretty much rocks. Plus we've got this great  list posted at various places entitled "Things to do when not busy;" and after a long, long list of possible chores in which one might partake, the list ends with "find something to do." HA! It gets me every time!

So I'm not sure when exactly it hit me--whether it was using the buffalo chicken tongs as castanets, singing obnoxious (but awesome) duets with Janelle Rundquist, dancing around to Adam's Disney playlist, or whatever--but sometime last semester I realized, "Holy poop, why isn't life at the Acorn a musical yet?!" So, basically, I decided I would be the one to write it. And voila! We now have "ACORN: the musical!"

Or at least we will, hopefully sooner rather than later. I think my favorite thing about this show is that as much as I talk about it while I'm at work, most people still think I'm kidding when I say I'm going to write it. I am not kidding. This stuff is real. As for the current status of "ACORN: the musical," it is dutifully progressing through the pre-production stage. You think I'm about to wink, tap my temple, and whisper, "It's all in here!" don't you? False. Actually, thus far I have a tentative cast, some cast notes, a tentative list of musical numbers, and a rough sketch of the logo. OH! And as of today, we have PAGE ONE of the script! Basically, I'm really excited.

The most common question I get about "ACORN: the musical" is, "Can I be in it???" To which I would love to always respond affirmatively; but the cast is pretty small so there will indeed have to be auditions and it's entirely possible that not everyone will get cast. The second most common question is, "When is this happening?" My hope is that I can have a full rough draft, at the very least, by the end of summer. If indeed it can be worked out that we can perform this show here, I'm hoping for approximately this time next year. I don't know how that will all work out, but I'd really love to make this happen before I graduate. What better way to finish off my college career than with an original musical production?! And I suppose a third good question is, "Where are you going to do it?" And my answer is...I have absolutely no idea. The Acorn itself would be ideal if not for the fact that it was indeed constructed to be an eatery and not a theater; so seating, acoustics, and an orchestra pit are, you know, kind of lacking. Most people suggest the fine arts building, but that would mean being granted access to the stage and having to construct a set that actually looks like the Acorn with countertops that we can actually jump on and dance on. It's possible, but maybe not probable. Someone even suggested the ampitheatre, but no. Just no. If for no other reason, there's a giant tree in the middle of the ampitheatre. Who told that tree it could be there in the middle of "ACORN: the musical?" I sure didn't.

The last thing I'd like to say before diving into today's list is that I'm going to need a lot of help with "ACORN: the musical" if it's actually going to happen. Yes, I'll need some people to be in it; but it will be a cast of around five workers and no more than eight chorus members. I've had a few people volunteer to help with music--both composition and direction--and that's good, because I'll need help with that as well. And concerning music, I'll also need an orchestra. Not a ginormous symphony orchestra or anything like that. In fact, we could surely get by with Rob Rhein on piano. But hey, if you play something and want to play it in "ACORN: the musical"...well, you should. And with that in mind, if you have any suggestions for the show (except "don't do it," because I won't listen) or would like to volunteer your services in any way, do comment or talk to me in real life and let me know. Because hey! I'd love to have you on Team Acorn.

And now, for Chris-10 Things.

10 Things You Should Be Excited About in "ACORN: the musical"

1. You'll recognize people. Whether it's the student workers who are portraying themselves or the chorus o' customers based on the many types of people who come through the Acorn line, you're sure to see someone on stage and say to yourself, "Oh, I know EXACTLY who that is..." And it's always fun when that happens.
2. It's loaded with stupid puns. Be ready to hear someone hold up leafy greens and declare, "Lettuce pray!" And since one of my cohorts in pre-production is the "juan and only" Juan Torres, you'll hear at least one great Juan pun per scene. I guar-juan-tee it. (Okay. That one was really dumb.)
3. There will be original music! And I hope it will get stuck in your head and that you'll sing it around people who have no idea what the Acorn is and then you'll have to explain to them the story of "ACORN: the musical."
4. There will also be some great rip-offs of preexisting musicals! Not too many of them; I don't need to get sued. But you know, for those of you who aren't so into the original thing, there's this. Also, some of the parodies were just too good to pass up. Let's just say that after having seen "ACORN: the musical" you will forever be singing "Acorn, Acorn and subs!" to the tune of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat's "Jacob and Sons." And don't worry; that's the only appearance of Joseph to make it into "ACORN" because I know how many Bethel people have gotten their fill. 
5. THERE WILL BE FLASH-MOBS! I can't tell you when or where; but what better way to advertise a musical than with a corny flash-mob?! (If you would like to be in one of the flash-mobs, let me know ;)
6. Life is way cooler as a musical. Don't you ever have those days when you'd rather be singing than talking and you'd rather be dancing than walking? That's what this is. It's an ordinary day at the Acorn, but in musical form and with a wee bit more plot. I always wished life was more like a musical. Maybe now it will be!
7. It exposes those little things that bother everybody. Like those couples who apparently don't ever see each other except when they're in line at the Acorn having their order taken, or they wouldn't have to be all over each other at that precise moment. Or the people who are yakking on their cell phones when their order is being taken. The people who order "buff chick" instead of buffalo chicken? Don't even get me started. Yeah, we see you. And you're going into "ACORN: the musical."
8. It's totally over-dramatic. Think way-exaggerated movements, laments for trivial things like the loss of a box-cutter, a mournful cello solo, and a percussion piece in the style of STOMP. Not because it's necessary, but because we can. And because, hopefully, it'll be hilarious.
9. Scott Kane made me scrub the floor with a toothbrush. We've shaken hands and moved on since the incident, but that doesn't mean you won't see it in "ACORN: the musical."
10. If you're a Bethel person, you'll be able to relate. And if you're not, it'll still be entertaining; and you might still find yourself thinking, Dude. That would grind my gears, too! But we've all been there. At some point, we've all had to put up with life's annoying customers and we've all had to scrub the figurative floor with the figurative toothbrush (or maybe not so figurative). You've just gotta pick yourself up, jump on the countertop, and start dancing. (I should take this moment to suggest that you not dance on the countertop at the Acorn without first asking permission from Lorena. And I should warn you that she'll probably say no.)

So there it is! I've blogged about it, you've read it, and now I actually have to write it! Hold me accountable, ladies and gents. Make me make it happen; and feel free to help me make it happen, too! 

Until next time, may your sandwiches never lose their flavor.

(That's in there, too.)