ACORN: the musical

Happy Tuesday, my diligent blog-readers! And may it be a thousand times better than your Monday, even if your Monday kicked some serious Monday butt.

I was reminded today by one of my fellow Acorn workers (are you happy now, Andrea?!) that I have not blogged anything in the two weeks since creating said blog. Believe me, I knew. I've been wanting to write for a while, but the last few weeks have been the teensiest bit ridiculously busy. Not a great excuse, but it's what I've got. Still, it was nice to know that someone wanted to read my blog. I suppose when I started it, I kind of expected it to get maybe ten views per post--and those would consist of my mom, my grandma, and me checking it eight times to see if anyone actually read it. But HUZZAH! This is not the case! Except for me checking the blog way too many times and realizing that many of the views were indeed me. That's kind of a lame feeling.

Anyway.

It seems like every time I go to work at the Acorn (for those of you who do not attend Bethel, this is our sandwich shop. Cue the jokes about a woman working at a sandwich shop; I make them all the time), it's just a matter of time before the conversation winds up at "ACORN: the musical." Oh, what is "ACORN: the musical," you might ask? Well, thank you for asking! Because the good Lord knows I don't get tired of talking about it. In fact, I think the fellow employees who aren't really excited about it probably want to shoot me in the face for talking about it so much. So if you're one of those people, you're more than welcome to stop reading now. If not...

Here's the thing. Working in food services isn't known to be the most glamorous job in the world. I used to think I was above it, actually, but life has a funny way of slapping you in the face with college poverty and forcing you to work jobs you never saw yourself working. That's how I ended up at the Acorn, and I'll be the first to admit I love working there. I get to work with some of the coolest, kookiest people on campus (most of whom also enjoy randomly bursting into song); the work is pretty straightforward (after all, making a sandwich is not supposed to be difficult); and my boss Lorena pretty much rocks. Plus we've got this great  list posted at various places entitled "Things to do when not busy;" and after a long, long list of possible chores in which one might partake, the list ends with "find something to do." HA! It gets me every time!

So I'm not sure when exactly it hit me--whether it was using the buffalo chicken tongs as castanets, singing obnoxious (but awesome) duets with Janelle Rundquist, dancing around to Adam's Disney playlist, or whatever--but sometime last semester I realized, "Holy poop, why isn't life at the Acorn a musical yet?!" So, basically, I decided I would be the one to write it. And voila! We now have "ACORN: the musical!"

Or at least we will, hopefully sooner rather than later. I think my favorite thing about this show is that as much as I talk about it while I'm at work, most people still think I'm kidding when I say I'm going to write it. I am not kidding. This stuff is real. As for the current status of "ACORN: the musical," it is dutifully progressing through the pre-production stage. You think I'm about to wink, tap my temple, and whisper, "It's all in here!" don't you? False. Actually, thus far I have a tentative cast, some cast notes, a tentative list of musical numbers, and a rough sketch of the logo. OH! And as of today, we have PAGE ONE of the script! Basically, I'm really excited.

The most common question I get about "ACORN: the musical" is, "Can I be in it???" To which I would love to always respond affirmatively; but the cast is pretty small so there will indeed have to be auditions and it's entirely possible that not everyone will get cast. The second most common question is, "When is this happening?" My hope is that I can have a full rough draft, at the very least, by the end of summer. If indeed it can be worked out that we can perform this show here, I'm hoping for approximately this time next year. I don't know how that will all work out, but I'd really love to make this happen before I graduate. What better way to finish off my college career than with an original musical production?! And I suppose a third good question is, "Where are you going to do it?" And my answer is...I have absolutely no idea. The Acorn itself would be ideal if not for the fact that it was indeed constructed to be an eatery and not a theater; so seating, acoustics, and an orchestra pit are, you know, kind of lacking. Most people suggest the fine arts building, but that would mean being granted access to the stage and having to construct a set that actually looks like the Acorn with countertops that we can actually jump on and dance on. It's possible, but maybe not probable. Someone even suggested the ampitheatre, but no. Just no. If for no other reason, there's a giant tree in the middle of the ampitheatre. Who told that tree it could be there in the middle of "ACORN: the musical?" I sure didn't.

The last thing I'd like to say before diving into today's list is that I'm going to need a lot of help with "ACORN: the musical" if it's actually going to happen. Yes, I'll need some people to be in it; but it will be a cast of around five workers and no more than eight chorus members. I've had a few people volunteer to help with music--both composition and direction--and that's good, because I'll need help with that as well. And concerning music, I'll also need an orchestra. Not a ginormous symphony orchestra or anything like that. In fact, we could surely get by with Rob Rhein on piano. But hey, if you play something and want to play it in "ACORN: the musical"...well, you should. And with that in mind, if you have any suggestions for the show (except "don't do it," because I won't listen) or would like to volunteer your services in any way, do comment or talk to me in real life and let me know. Because hey! I'd love to have you on Team Acorn.

And now, for Chris-10 Things.

10 Things You Should Be Excited About in "ACORN: the musical"

1. You'll recognize people. Whether it's the student workers who are portraying themselves or the chorus o' customers based on the many types of people who come through the Acorn line, you're sure to see someone on stage and say to yourself, "Oh, I know EXACTLY who that is..." And it's always fun when that happens.
2. It's loaded with stupid puns. Be ready to hear someone hold up leafy greens and declare, "Lettuce pray!" And since one of my cohorts in pre-production is the "juan and only" Juan Torres, you'll hear at least one great Juan pun per scene. I guar-juan-tee it. (Okay. That one was really dumb.)
3. There will be original music! And I hope it will get stuck in your head and that you'll sing it around people who have no idea what the Acorn is and then you'll have to explain to them the story of "ACORN: the musical."
4. There will also be some great rip-offs of preexisting musicals! Not too many of them; I don't need to get sued. But you know, for those of you who aren't so into the original thing, there's this. Also, some of the parodies were just too good to pass up. Let's just say that after having seen "ACORN: the musical" you will forever be singing "Acorn, Acorn and subs!" to the tune of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat's "Jacob and Sons." And don't worry; that's the only appearance of Joseph to make it into "ACORN" because I know how many Bethel people have gotten their fill. 
5. THERE WILL BE FLASH-MOBS! I can't tell you when or where; but what better way to advertise a musical than with a corny flash-mob?! (If you would like to be in one of the flash-mobs, let me know ;)
6. Life is way cooler as a musical. Don't you ever have those days when you'd rather be singing than talking and you'd rather be dancing than walking? That's what this is. It's an ordinary day at the Acorn, but in musical form and with a wee bit more plot. I always wished life was more like a musical. Maybe now it will be!
7. It exposes those little things that bother everybody. Like those couples who apparently don't ever see each other except when they're in line at the Acorn having their order taken, or they wouldn't have to be all over each other at that precise moment. Or the people who are yakking on their cell phones when their order is being taken. The people who order "buff chick" instead of buffalo chicken? Don't even get me started. Yeah, we see you. And you're going into "ACORN: the musical."
8. It's totally over-dramatic. Think way-exaggerated movements, laments for trivial things like the loss of a box-cutter, a mournful cello solo, and a percussion piece in the style of STOMP. Not because it's necessary, but because we can. And because, hopefully, it'll be hilarious.
9. Scott Kane made me scrub the floor with a toothbrush. We've shaken hands and moved on since the incident, but that doesn't mean you won't see it in "ACORN: the musical."
10. If you're a Bethel person, you'll be able to relate. And if you're not, it'll still be entertaining; and you might still find yourself thinking, Dude. That would grind my gears, too! But we've all been there. At some point, we've all had to put up with life's annoying customers and we've all had to scrub the figurative floor with the figurative toothbrush (or maybe not so figurative). You've just gotta pick yourself up, jump on the countertop, and start dancing. (I should take this moment to suggest that you not dance on the countertop at the Acorn without first asking permission from Lorena. And I should warn you that she'll probably say no.)

So there it is! I've blogged about it, you've read it, and now I actually have to write it! Hold me accountable, ladies and gents. Make me make it happen; and feel free to help me make it happen, too! 

Until next time, may your sandwiches never lose their flavor.

(That's in there, too.)